Category Archives: Derek Jeter

Scientific Breakthrough!!



Monkey teaches Red Sux fan sign language! Until now, Red Sux fans have not been unable to demonstrate the brain function necessary for basic communication until the age of 12, but after months of isolated interaction with a reeses monkey, a six year old Sux fan has responded to a request to take his first bath. -Lou Score

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This makes me want to drink milk and beer!!


This is a picture of my long lost.. um, friend.. and, if anyone has contact with her, please immediately send her to the Sport Hump Field Office in Saratoga Springs, NY, located in my bedroom. Thank you. -Lou Score

"I’ve got one hell of a man crush on Derek Jeter. He’s made all the right moves."

Even with disguise, the ladies can’t get enough

Mancrush (defined):

  • A man having extreme admiration for another man, as though he wants to be him.
  • Respect, admiration and idolization of another man. Non-sexual. Celebrities, athletes and rock stars are often the object of the man crush.
  • It can be stronger than the love between a man and a woman.

He is the Captain, plain and simple. We all know Derek Jeters accomplishments on and off (Jessica Alba) the field. We remember “The Dive and catch,” his record 150 postseason hits, and World Series MVP award as being pretty amazing to say the least. Clearly he has a ton more and his current wikipedia profile does the man no justice. In addition to his baseball prowess and respect for the game, this guy clearly embodies what us guys want to be off the field, starting with the hotties.

First of all, the guy dated Jessica “The Ass” Alba. That in itself will get anyone to the next level on the man crush totem pole. Add in Scarlet Johannson, Jessica Biel, and Mariah Carey and the guy is pretty much on Hugh Hefner level of envy. Just think for a second, ALL of the women we don’t know about! Seriously, could you imagine how diversified his portfolio is? I think I just threw up in my mouth. Could you imagine introducing your wife or girlfriend to him at a cocktail party? You would feel like Dick Trickle at Nascar drivers Media day.

Well, all we can do is watch in marvel and envy and hope one day that all of us happen to have the chance to be shortstop of the New York Yankees. Columbus would do though!

Guido population in Syracuse jumps 17%, largest increase since 98-99

“yo yo yo Mario!!! Whas good we hittin up dem clubs tonight?”
“Nahh yo, my dad took away my Bimma yo, he sayin i put too much mileage on it last week.”
“Damn, i feel for you. You wanna hit up the italian club on 25th?”
“Nahh we got kicked out last time by dat guido “
“oh yah, aiight then, ill catch you on the flip side playboy”
“Ciao playa

The Guido revolution has arrived in Syracuse, NY. According to the latest U.S. Census statistics, Syracuse’s Guido population has jumped 17%, the cities largest increase since 98-99. Outside of Staten Island, NY, Syracuse has recently surpassed Queens and Yonkers as the second highest number of Guidos in the State. Local lawmakers have commented on Guido population control, but have not put an action plan together to combat further population increases.

Tom Delosa, town councilman for the city of Syracuse stated that, “he feels it is the county’s responsibility to create an action plan to control the guido population and make it difficult for them to thrive here in upstate.”

Known to frequent area malls looking for club gear to waste their week’s pay on (most likely spotted shopping at Burlington Coat Factory” in Cicero). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (P.J. Dorseys,Fuel,The ZOO Station Etc.). Most notable for cruising on Erie Blvd in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in an attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin’ system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted. He wears shirts that are too tight and unbuttoned 5 buttons too low to show off the chest that he spent hours and hours at the gym obtaining, he spends more time on his hair than his girlfriend.

Guidos are fortunate in that they usually tend to be loyal to their heritage and cultures. However, their interpretation of the Italian culture is unique to Americans. They fall sorrily short when attempting to emulate the sophistication of European-born men. In fact, their shortcomings include a tendency toward alcoholism, legal problems (usually related to assault, reckless driving, noise violations), and an inability to compete in legimate business.

“Although he spends all his time in the gym and dancing in the clubs, that Guido will soon be a burned out alcoholic working a thankless job, living alone in his one-bedroom apartment in North Syracuse”

Anonomyous

The guido takes pictures of himself in poses that he wants to seem candid, often these pictures are numerous and the guido selects the 1 of 100 pics to put on his myspace page, which is littered with images of italian flags and the colors red white and green.
The common guido cannot tell you how old the Pope is, or who the leader of italy is. In fact, they probably dont even realize that when they call their father, they are saying the title “POPE” in Italian – (Pope = “papa” in italian, Dad/father = “papa” only pronounced with a sharp accent on the second P)