Category Archives: danny carberry

Who are you? Why do you come for me Direct TV girl?

Just let me watch cable and leave our people alone!

She just stares at you with vigor through your television set, directing you in this hypnotic, robotic voice explaining why you should make the switch to Satellite, while strange, alarming music plays eerily in the background. She has the eyes of the runaway bride and pale white skin, like a day walker from Blade. But, I am extremely attracted to her while she is facing me and feel that I am not content with my cable, and must convert over to dish immediately.

The ad runs constantly and loops over and over again like a Billy Fucillo commercial. I have cable, so they run the ad like every five minutes on every channel, especially in the late evening after I dim the lights. Who is she? Why is she here, and why I am attracted to her?

As I sit on my couch, drinking my malt liquor, I see “scary direct tv girl”, and I don’t actually think the actress is scary anymore?. She’s clearly supposed to be on my TV right now for a reason. If she is out there, I am Danny, and I know what you are saying! I tried to fight it, but cannot resist the temptation of dish anymore. Unfortunately for her, I will continue to fight the “good fight” against the dark powers of Direct TV. She will not tempt me, and I will release her demons when she arrives to take me to the Direct TV Safe house.

Unless this is some sort of evil government scheme to get me to switch to Direct TV, by promising that I won’t be subjected to their awful ads if I switch from cable. As she pops up again on my TV, I feel a bit of calm. She is gone, and with that, I am suddenly subjected to a Romano Suburu commercial.

Oh – maybe you don’t agree with me? Maybe the commercials don’t bother you? Maybe you don’t think she’s that scary? Then look into her eyes and tell me what you see? Do you see something from Narnia? Is she a Shape shifter from the movie Millennium? Why doesn’t she blink her eyes. Would she be able to sit with you on the couch and watch a Yankees game or the upcoming final four?

I will continue my cable, if and only if I am directed by the Direct TV girl, that she plans harm to my family and kindred. I will not give up the good fight for the common folk, and will be a warrior for everything that is right with us candid cable minions.

God Bless America!


Onondaga County and Syracuse Chiefs are BFF’s

Lets see how this works………..

  • The county said the Chiefs owed taxpayers $496,479.
  • The Chiefs said taxpayers owed them $860,827.

Okay, I realize in our crazy tax system, write-offs and the ability for Big Money to fall “behind the lines”, but how does the process get to this point.

“I can tell you, we’re not paying them $800,000, and they’re not paying us $500,000,” County Executive Mahoney said. “It’s somewhere in the middle.”

Ahh, ok I get it. A struggling Triple AAA baseball affiliate to our only Canadian baseball franchise, that has a decreasing bottom line can pull the, “can’t we just work something out here” line? I mean, we put in a grass field for Goodness sake!” So before the game at Alliance Bank Stadium started, Mahoney stated she and Chiefs officials signed a letter of intent that will turn into a memorandum of understanding Friday. The memorandum is a formal agreement that will settle the past money issues and explain how the Chiefs and county will do business in the future, Mahoney said.

The Syracuse Chiefs are the Bear Sterns of Minor league baseball……….Now, time for the most beautiful picture I have ever seen!

Best Sport Montages of All Time-Number 4…..Vision Quest

All he needed was a lucky break. Then one day she moved in.

Vision Quest is a coming of age movie in dramatic 80’s fashion in which high school wrestler Louden Swain (Matthew Modine) decides he wants to be something more than an average high school athlete and sets his sights on a prize that many don’t think he can win or even come close, the “Golden Singlet”. He then sets out to reach his goal alone, without much support from his ornery father or dickhead coach. His father rents a room to a young drifter, Carla (Linda Fiorentino). The drifters my parents brought in our house never looked like that?
Swain falls in love with her and she helps him stay focused and prevents him from losing sight of his goals. If you like wresting tights, and over zealous acting with a touch of singlet bulges, this is a film for you. If you never got the whole high school wrestling thing,(me) it might be tough visually looking at dudes junk all movie.

Here is number 4 Vision Quest(1985)

Four days before the match, Lowden Swain checks in at 180 pounds. He then proceeds to go get five sweatshirts and a garbage bag, which will make up his outfit for the next couple of days. All eating will stop from here on out. Ahh, to be a high school wrestler spitting in a cup.

"I’ve got one hell of a man crush on Derek Jeter. He’s made all the right moves."

Even with disguise, the ladies can’t get enough

Mancrush (defined):

  • A man having extreme admiration for another man, as though he wants to be him.
  • Respect, admiration and idolization of another man. Non-sexual. Celebrities, athletes and rock stars are often the object of the man crush.
  • It can be stronger than the love between a man and a woman.

He is the Captain, plain and simple. We all know Derek Jeters accomplishments on and off (Jessica Alba) the field. We remember “The Dive and catch,” his record 150 postseason hits, and World Series MVP award as being pretty amazing to say the least. Clearly he has a ton more and his current wikipedia profile does the man no justice. In addition to his baseball prowess and respect for the game, this guy clearly embodies what us guys want to be off the field, starting with the hotties.

First of all, the guy dated Jessica “The Ass” Alba. That in itself will get anyone to the next level on the man crush totem pole. Add in Scarlet Johannson, Jessica Biel, and Mariah Carey and the guy is pretty much on Hugh Hefner level of envy. Just think for a second, ALL of the women we don’t know about! Seriously, could you imagine how diversified his portfolio is? I think I just threw up in my mouth. Could you imagine introducing your wife or girlfriend to him at a cocktail party? You would feel like Dick Trickle at Nascar drivers Media day.

Well, all we can do is watch in marvel and envy and hope one day that all of us happen to have the chance to be shortstop of the New York Yankees. Columbus would do though!

Chancellor Cantor: "We will have more hot chicks at Syracuse University. You can count on that."

In a surprise address to the Syracuse student body after the release of the Hottest Student Bodies: The 50 Best Colleges based on looks, Chancellor Nancy Cantor addressed the issue of a decline in hotness of incoming Syracuse University freshmen. Syracuse has missed the list the past ten years, and has been in decline of the “Crazy hot college coed,” that young men and even women expect during their college years. The Chancellor stated her concern with this by stating,

“I truly believe our University can recruit these hot young women to come to
our college here in Central New York. We realized our issue of being more
selective academically and our increase in tuition has had an impact of our
young women and the physical appearance of these coeds. To be competitive with
the Arizona State’s and Florida State’s of the world, we have to make our
University attractive.”

A few things Cantor mentioned in the speech as potential ideas:

  1. Offer free tanning to incoming freshmen
  2. Sex in the City-Series Box set
  3. Hair By Industry

We have found two photo submissions from Syracuse for the Poll:

Hey guys, want to go to Bob Evans?

Who is ready for Spring Break?

We are routing for the Orange ladies, but we need to work on a few things. Get rid of the mom pants, flannel shirts and baggy sweatpants. They don’t do that crap out in Cali or down in Alabama. Well, we will enjoy our upstate ladies and we realize not one New York school made the list, and my Alma mater(East Carolina University) got an honorable mention. Go Pirates!

We also realize schools like USC doesn’t have Dinosaur Barbecue or kick ass Upstate New York Wings. Also a shout out goes for our New York State ladies at Suny Delhi, Potsdam and Suny Canton. You girls are some tough ladies that can handle the chores.

And the winner is…………..God bless State Schools!

Utah State students: Will you continue to rock my world?…Beer Pong with Root Beer, God I love Mormons

Barq’s really bites!

I am not sure how to begin this, just read this little dandy from KUTV in Utah…………..

Students At Utah State Play ‘Drinking Game’ With Root Beer Instead

LOGAN – Utah State University students are putting a new spin on an old game.
Beirut — or beer pong — is a favorite among college students. The objective is to bounce a ping pong ball from one end of a table into a cluster of cups at the other end. If the ball lands in a cup, the owner of that cup drinks its contents — usually, beer.

That’s where USU students take exception. On a dry campus with a heavily Mormon population, the Aggies play with root beer.

“People are pretty excited about the event,” said coordinator Megan Darrington. “We want to make this a tradition at USU.”

Campus Recreation Chairman Lance Brown elaborated on why he thinks the game, which students played Friday at the Taggart Student Center, has caught on.

“It’s like people here want to look worldly, but they don’t want to be worldly,” he said. “Living in a Mormon community, students want to push the edge a little.”

The event was sponsored by the school’s student council and organized by the Associated Students of USU’s athletics group. Organizers arranged a bracketed tournament competition, and teams of two with names like Sobriety and A&W came to play.

Continue reading story here….

Best Sport Montages of All Time-Number 6…..Rocky III

Boxer Rocky Balboa enjoys the wealth and notoriety he has as world Heavyweight champion. He has chosen to only fight against easy opponents and Butterbean types. Then he is challenged by the arrogant bonecrusher with a mowhawk, Clubber Lang. Rocky accepts the challenge to proove once more that there is only one world-champion and to win the hearts of Philadelphia, one more time. But Lang kicks Rocky’s ass and then goes on to star in a hit 80’s television show, The A-Team. Nobody believes in Rocky anymore, not even his own abs, except one man: former world-champion Appolo Creed/Action Jackson. And Creed tries to the stimulate his fighting spirit and get Rocky back in top-form by running slow motion sprints on the beach with both men’s bodies well lubed up for sitiliating beach-action running.

Here is number 6-Rocky III (1982)

Even though the film opened six years after the original, the story is set only four years beyond the original. Rocky is introduced as 30 in the first Apollo Creed fight and is introduced as 34 before the rematch with Clubber Lang. Hey, I am 33 and I think I can still kick some ass? Give the old gents some credit!

This is because the movie is set three years after Rocky II which was supposed to be the following year after the original. Anyhoot, as a child probably the most memorable montage and after seeing this movie, I wanted to box until I realized I was an averaged sized, spoiled white kid from the Burbs.