This is why I mute basketball……."They can’t afford to get lackadaisical." Tard announcers

Don’t get me started on baseball

Sometimes I think the vocabulary level of a color analyst for most sports has to be at about a 5th grade reading level. Do they have a handbook with cliche phrases to use at opportune times, or do they just bank them in their cap because everybody talks exactly the freaking same?

“They’ve built an insurmountable lead.”

Well, here is a list of cliche sayings we have heard the past few days watching college basketball with definitions from myself and Danny (Poncho Sinatra)…Enjoy!

They play an exciting brand of basketball.(Really, what Brand? Sears.)
They play above the rim. (They are tall.)
They move well without the ball. (They are fast)
They live and die by their outside shot. (Do they literally die?)
They need to dominate the boards. (They have broader shoulders.)
They need to dominate the paint. (They are taller with broader shoulders.)
They need to dominate the offensive glass.(see above)
They have to pound the ball inside. (continue to see above)
They have to block out better. (Who has a Charles Barkley ass?)
They have to stop the dribble penetration. (Do we have any quick guys?)
They score a lot of points in transition. (They are faster and quicker than you.)
They’ve been red-hot. (Just made a lot of baskets.)
They’ve been on fire. (see above.)
They’re shooting the lights out. (continue to see above.)
They’re making a living behind the 3-point arc. (They have made a few in a row)
It’s raining threes. (They are making multiple in a row.)
They’re shooting well from downtown. ( “Downtown” was introduced by broadcaster Marv Albert and is now in widespread use. But why aren’t long-range shooters in the SUBURBS ? )
He can really shoot the three-ball. (He is probably a white guy from an Ivy School.)
He can nail the trifecta. (Plays at Penn.)
They’re getting some good, open looks. (No one is playing defense.)
He’s been unconscious. (Call the fuckin ambulance douche!)
He’s automatic. (Very “Robocop”ish.)
He’s money. (and he doesn’t even know it.)
He can fill it up. (His name is John Holmes on the court.)
He can bury the three-point shot. (A streaky white guy from Cornell.)
He’s a pure shooter. (White boy from BYU.)
He’s been perfect from the charity stripe. (He practices free throws.)
Well, I just jinxed him. (This is the follow-up cliche if the `perfect’ free throw shooter misses)
He can really dish the rock. ( Great passer.)
He’s been their spark off the bench. (He made a couple of shots, even though he doesn’t start.)He gives them good minutes off the bench.
He provides them with instant offense. (His name is Sanka.)
He’s a streaky shooter. (A white guy from Gonzaga.)

And a bunch more that don’t need to be defined…………

They can’t get their shots to fall.
They can’t buy a basket.
They can’t find their range.
They’ve been ice-cold.
The free throw shooting has been anemic.
They’ve been throwing up bricks.
He just threw up an air ball.
There’s a lid on the basket.
That shot barely drew iron.
He lost the handle.
They need a timeout to stop the bleeding
They’ve got to knock down their free throws.
I question their shot selection.
They have to find an answer for Reggie Miller.
It’s been a game of runs.
Now’s the time to run some clock.
They need a defensive stop.
It’s a two possession game.
Ten seconds is like an eternity.
This game has turned into a track meet.
This game has turned into a free-throw shooting contest.
He’s been quiet so far.
They’ve got to take it to the hole.
They’ve got to take it to the rack.
The big guy is really sweeping the glass.
He can really sky for those rebounds.
He’s a force on the inside.
He can spot up for the open J.
That’s his patented jumper.
He shoots a rainbow jumper.
They’re really banging in there!
They have to body-up on the big guy.
Ree-jected!
Nothing but net.
Drained it!
They’ve got numbers!
Great no-look pass.
Count the basket!
Coast-to-coast!
He nails the buzzer beater!
He got away with a walk. (The cliche way for an announcer to suggest a player traveled with the ball)
He got hacked.
That was a smart foul.
That was a ticky-tack call.
That was a good piece of officiating.
The refs should let them play.

Thanks for the inspiration of this via (Sports Cliche)

BallHype – This is why I mute basketball…….”They can’t afford to get lackadaisical.” Tard announcers
ballhype_story_widget_233878(true);

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s