Guy on plane: Can you explain these?
Flight attendant: Well colt 45 is like a liquored up beer that sneaks up on you all of a sudden
From our Bro’s and Ho’s at The Brushback………
Keith Van Horn promises to bring Championship to New Jersey
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ–Newly acquired Net Keith Van Horn arrived in New Jersey today, where he made a promise to the throng of fans and media that he would bring an NBA championship to the state of New Jersey.
“It’s great to be a New Jersey Net,” Van Horn said to the crowd outside the Izod Center. “And I’m looking forward to doing what I was brought here to do: win a championship! That’s right, we’re bringing it home to East Rutherford. The rest of the league is on notice.”
Van Horn then took some time to call out his new conference rivals.
“The Celtics, Pistons, Cavaliers, and the Magic all better watch out,” he said. “This is a dream lineup. Van Horn, R-Jeff, Vincanity and that other guy there, the Russian. And forget about Jason Kidd. He’s nothing. The only people that are going to miss him in this town are the strippers. And even they were starting to get a little sick of his shit from what I hear.”
Joey Harrington gives Falcons defensive lineman in Mock Draft
ATLANTA–In his fourth annual mock draft, Falcons quarterback Joey Harrington opted to give his team a defensive lineman, Glenn Dorsey, over one of several quarterbacks available. Harrington believes that Dorsey brings the “attitude and intangibles” that the team needs to change the culture in the locker room.
“I love Glenn Dorsey. He’s got everything we need in a player,” said Harrington, who draws up a mock draft each year and posts it on his website. “He has tenacity, he has athleticism, he’s a leader, and he’s a great role model to boot. Plus, he gives us a little swagger. He’ll make everybody a lot tougher, even Roddy White. Just kidding. Everybody else, though.”
Harrington acknowledged that there were some intriguing options at the quarterback position, but didn’t think that was an area of need for the Falcons.
“There are going to be some decent quarterbacks available,” Harrington said. “But in my opinion that’s not a big area of need for us right now. Plus, a lot of those young guys are overrated. Take that Brohm kid. His numbers in college were totally inflated by the system he played in. I think he only handed the ball off twice in his entire career, and both of those ended up being flea flickers that he threw for touchdowns.”