“I keep my girlfriend flooded with ice, she hates Georgetown!”
Why I hate Georgetown……….
Last week, I had to walk through Georgetown to get to my friends house. I don’t go to Georgetown very much; it is actually quite difficult to get to and is the taint of Virginia. The train doesn’t go there; parking is extremely difficult; and only native DC residents (of which I am not one) ever ride the bus because they are pretentious snobs. Many will say it is because wealthy Georgetowners didn’t want a noisy, hoi-polloi-transporting conveyance rumbling under their 19th century townhomes. Blah, Blah, Blah! But others say that’s bunk, that in fact it is because the subway would have to be located extremely deep under the ground in Georgetown, due to its proximity to the Potomac River.) So on those few occasions when I’m there, I approach it with an unfamiliar eye.
Throughout my walk, I became increasingly disgusted with the area, until I was clenching my fists, round-housing locals and cursing loudly. I didn’t know why, but Georgetown was really pissing me off. But I eventually figured it out. Here is the recipe for creating Georgetown: Take Greenwich Village in Manhattan. Vigorously scrub away all character. (Or at least all that remains in the Village.) Replenish the resulting population deficiency with rich white suburban transplants. Plop it down in a city already hurting for charisma.
Oh, and give it really narrow sidewalks and the abundance of turds while you’re at it.
A pow-wow, just rock it out
Finger poppin to the break of dawn
Keep it rockin like the stuff that we call Hoya pride
(What’s that?) Hot buttered popcorn
You just hippa-hoppa-dippa-boppa bang the boogie
woogie betcha wanna boogie again
And you can put me to the test at your request
I rock you out of your seats
Kemosabi got down, took off his mask
He kicked off his shoes and did the Monster Mash
Tommy came along, saw what was happenin
His head began to boppin his foot start to clappin
Go slam, dunk, do the jerk
Patick Ewing Jr. lyrics