I dropped a piece of hemp rope at McDonalds and made sure I flushed twice. Three days later, a Big Mac is born.

From our brethren @foodchainmonthdaily

In Effort to be Hip, McDonald’s Considers Offering “McPoetry” Readings in New Coffee Bars

McDonald’s is slowly revealing details of its new coffee bars to open inside its 14,000 U.S. units. The company said today that to compete in the crowded coffee house environment, it will invite local poets to perform live once a week in what they are calling “McPoetry” readings. “We feel our product needs to offer consumers everything they have come to expect at some of the trendier coffee bars,” said a McSpokesperson. “We think McPoetry will provide the coffee-house experience consumers want,’ he added. The burger chain said it will censor the poetry prior to the performance and encourage the authors to incorporate some sort of Golden Arches branding into their poem. “I’m not a creative person, but surely it can’t be too hard to weave in something about our Angus burger or Happy Meals,” said a V.P. in charge of the project. “They’re free to perform whatever they want as long as it ties into the brand,” she added. McDonald’s said they are also working on “

Now if we can stop having them eat all the burgers, they could read a Haku without burping or breathing heavy!

Mailman Not Exactly Looking Forward to Receiving $5 Red Lobster Gift Cards Again This Year
Parma Ohio mail carrier, Dennis Anderson said he’s not thrilled about the prospect of receiving more Red Lobster gift cards from the people on his route again this Christmas. The 13 year veteran postal worker said in a statement “I know it’s the thought and all, but c’mon. Enough with the Red Lobster cards. Just give me the five bucks for Chrissakes.” Part of Anderson’s disappointment comes from the fact that the closest Red Lobster is 15 miles away and he’s allergic to shellfish. “They know I can’t eat shellfish. I’ve told them. Two years ago I wrote each an every one of them a thank you note saying ‘Thanks for the gift card, but I can’t eat shellfish.’ Know what I got the next year? Red Lobster gift cards.”

McDonalds….The Rap

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