Justin was such a poser-goth; sure, he comes to school in all black, but he doesn’t even know who Edgar Allen Poe is.

From our Bro’s at the Brushback….

Phillip Rivers reveals he had leg amputated before game

FOXBORO–Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers had his leg amputated prior to Sunday’s clash with the Patriots in the AFC conference championship, the team revealed today. Rivers, who played courageously despite his limited mobility, refused to disclose the severity of the injury during the week because “he didn’t want to use it as an excuse.”

“My right knee was totally destroyed and I knew the only option was to get it amputated,” Rivers told the San Diego Tribune. “So I told the team doctor, ‘cut it off.’ The whole thing took about ten minutes on Thursday and then I spent a couple days hopping around like that and it felt okay. Obviously my mobility was pretty limited, but that’s not an excuse. I wasn’t the only guy out there who was nicked up.”

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Patriots dedicate victory to imaginary people who doubted them

FOXBORO–Following their 21-12 victory over the San Diego Chargers in the AFC Conference Championship, the New England Patriots had a message for the imaginary people who doubted them: this one’s for you.

“This game is for anyone out there who doubted us this week,” said linebacker Tedy Bruschi. “I’m talking about…um…that guy from that one San Diego paper who said the Chargers had a chance, and whichever talking head on ESPN said we might not win, and, most likely, some asshole message board posters who thought we might not cover the spread. I don’t know your names, but I know you’re out there. Probably. I mean, I’m assuming it. Anyway, keep doubting us. We like that way.”

When Tom Brady was picked off for the third time in the second half of the game, many of the imaginary doubters probably thought the Patriots were finished. However, they turned out to be wrong once again when the Pats took control of the game in the fourth quarter.

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